Thursday, June 23, 2011

Not Sure


So I had an experience tonight that made my heart hurt, a lot.

You hear people talk about the rock and the hard place like those are actual things... places.
And they most definitely are. Because I see the problem, and I.... I just don't know how to fix it.
I know how to try and make it better, but I've tried in the past, and it's never worked out.

But I hate what's happening so badly. And I hate that I try to change things and it doesn't work.
I hate talking to the very few people I have talked to and they tell me to 'pray about it'.

Well hell, I HAVE been praying about it. For a long damn time.
And not just once a day, but a lot.
Sincerely.
And I wouldn't be writing this post, and feeling the way I am feeling, if something had happened.
Because it hasn't.

I am pissed off, and aggrieved, and emotional about it.
And my heart is hurting, and I don't have an effing clue what to do now.

7 comments:

The Hugel's said...

I hope you are ok!!

Jan said...

I'm sorry you are carrying that burdensome rock. If there is ANYTHING I can do to help, or ease your burden, please let me know!

Lopez Life said...

I hope you start to feel better soon!

The Picketts said...

Unfortunately, sometimes you don't get answers to every prayer. Sometimes it's because the "answer" isn't what we want it to be.
In any case, I DO hope that burden is lifted from your shoulders very soon. If you ever need to talk, or complain or bounce ideas around. I'm willing to listen!
Until then, I'll keep you in MY prayers! Good luck!

Jan said...

I hope this weekend is healing for you and you are feeling much better.

Amy said...

Thanks everyone. And thanks Jan :).

Dani said...

I hope everything's ok -- I'm always here to chat if needed! :) -- sorry your hurting.