It's Those Moments

So I have these moments. Where I can completely appreciate the experience that I'm having. 

Where I am, who I'm with, what I'm doing, how I feel. 

The lights around me, the bench I'm sitting on, everything. 

I had one of those this summer, and one last week. 

The moment in the summer happened when I was in Green River, for the first time ever. 

I was sitting in a little raft, about three more minutes away from fearing for my life again - bundled in a life jacket that was clearly too large for me, and I remember thinking that everything I had done, every experience I had, had led me to that moment right then. 

I loved everything about that moment. The people I was with, the way the sun sparkled off the waves, and I loved when the freezing water splashed my toes. 

I was cold, I was terrified, and I was so happy. 

That moment changed me.

The moment last week happened at a restaurant, at dinnertime, sitting in a booth, feeling more misunderstood than I ever have. And I remember thinking that everything I had done, every experience I had, had led me to that moment right then. 

And I thought how funny it was that the two situations were so incredibly different. How a conversation can go so wrong, when I was trying to make it go so right. 

It sparked me, that I could so vividly appreciate the good and the bad moments. 

That night last week was no less beautiful. The lighting was low, and the paintings were pretty, but the experience was so different. Tragically different. 

But I thought "It's these moments". 

It's these moments that allow me to appreciate where I'm at. Who I'm with. What I'm doing. 

Whether they are good or bad. 

It's these moments that change me. 

That moment in the summertime, let me see just how happy I could be, doing absolutely nothing, just sitting there.... on a little bench.

And that moment last week, gave me a different kind of appreciation. 

It let me see things I hadn't seen before, hear things I hadn't heard before. 

And that moment changed me too.